Tag Archives: stress management

Coping with Death in Hertfordshire

coping with death in hertfordshireIt seems like each week another high profile celebrity is passing at the moment so I thought it would be good to explore the stages of grief and how hypnotherapy can help you if you are coping with death in Hertfordshire. It can be easy to forget these stages are responses to feelings or emotions and they can be fluidly experienced one after the other in a short space of time.

It’s sometimes thought that it takes a set amount of time to overcome each stage but this can differ from person to person. You might even skip a stage or two only to find you come back to it at another time, usually when you least expect it. Having friends and family you can speak to can be invaluable, if you feel you cannot speak to those around you it might be time to find a therapist or professional who can support you through your difficult time.

Denial

The first stage of grief and coping with death in Hertfordshire is denial; this knee jerk reaction helps us cope with the shock of our loss. You may find you question why this has happened to you, how you can go on or even why you should go on. The shock will wear off in its own time but initially these emotions help us to experience our feelings of grief and cope with the loss in our own time, at our own pace in a way that we can handle. You could also feel a numbness or lack of feelings at this stage but as the denial fades feelings that you might have suppressed will begin to surface.

Anger

Usually we are told to control and manage our anger but during the grieving process it’s important that you express your anger in a way that will help the healing process. Feel the anger and explore it, this is the only way to work through this stage and this will help dissipate the potentially overwhelming feeling. There will be other emotions under that anger but the anger is the easiest to deal with at this point. You might find you are angry with the situation, or people who you feel have let you down during the process or at yourself for not doing more or any number of other people or situations. Anger is usually suppressed but in this situation it can be used to anchor you in the now, it is a strength that can give you structure in a difficult time.

Bargaining

“What if” and “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve” thought patterns might creep in at this point in the process.  What if we could have seen there was something wrong, if only I’d been there, I could have changed things. It is normal to try to take some control of the situation in this way but these thoughts will only contribute to your feelings of hopelessness. This might also be the time that you make a bargain with your god or deity “If I’m devout maybe you will bring them back to me” or “if I pray every day I can protect myself or other loved ones from the same fate”. You will find fault in yourself in this phase as you go over what you could have done differently. This keeps you in the past as you try to negotiate your way out of the pain and discomfort you experience as you are coping with death in Hertfordshire.

coping with death in hertfordshire

Depression

This can be one of the harder stages to cope with on your own. The grief can feel like it has entered your life on a deeper level and you might feel it will last forever. You could find yourself just going through the motions as you live in a fog of despair and even withdraw from life. This is a natural response to a life changing experience and is a necessary step along the path of the grieving process, as much as it hurts and makes you feel very low, you need to experience it before you can fully process what’s happened.

Acceptance

The final stage of coping with death in Hertfordshire is acceptance. This won’t mean that you’re “Ok” or happy that your loved one is gone, it simply means you have accepted the reality that the person is gone and recognise this is a permanent change to your life. It might be that you feel trapped in the anger or denial and never get to this stage. It is usually at this time that we make our peace with the situation and understand that the person cannot be replaced but you are now ready to make new connections and begin to live again.coping with death in hertfordshireHow can hypnotherapy help?

It is common to struggle with overcoming feelings of loss or bereavement when you are coping with death in Hertfordshire, but hypnotherapy can assist you in coping and lessen the negative feelings. If you have lost a loved one you might not want to burden other grieving family members, therapy is a good place to talk about your feelings and give you space to talk about your loss in a safe environment without worry that you will be misinterpreted or judged. We can help you find a way to work through your loss and deal with the stages of grief as they arise. Perhaps you are struggling with:

  • Guilt or anger
  • Blaming yourself or others
  • Anxiety around living without the bereaved
  • Worrying about financial insecurity
  • Worrying about others or yourself dying
  • Feeling stressed out or overwhelmed
  • Fear about your own health
  • Feeling lost in the world
  • Losing control of your emotions
  • Lose confidence or self esteem
  • Nervous nail biting
  • Feeling vulnerable
  • Deep sadness
  • Weight gain or loss
  • Sickness and fatigue
  • Loss of concentration
  • Panic attacks
  • Insomnia or sleep irregularities

Using relaxation techniques and positive suggestions hypnotherapy can help you focus your energy in a relaxed and enjoyable way and help you find new coping strategies to support you through the grieving process. Healing can begin once you allow yourself to feel the grief as it arises without resistance and we can help you to do this in a controlled way. We will use a bespoke combination of hypnotherapy, NLP and CBT tailored to your challenges and specific needs to create a lasting positive change.

Contact us today on 01438 358174 to discuss how we can help you as you are coping with death in Hertfordshire, today. It would be our pleasure to create a bespoke therapy program just for you, tailored to your needs with your challenges in mind.

 

Hyperemesis Gravidarum in Hertfordshire

What is Hyperemesis Gravidarum?

Most women will experience a level of morning sickness during their pregnancy, especially during the first three months. Hyperemesis gravidarum is more extreme than being sick once or twice a day. Women can find they are constantly sick, even feeling nauseous just thinking about eating and this can begin to impact on their health. Some will find it hard to hold simple liquids like water down and will possibly need hospital treatment.

If you are concerned you are experiencing hyperemesis gravidarum in Hertfordshire, it is very important to see your GP or health advisor as the symptoms can be an indicator of many different illnesses, please do not diagnose yourself.

So what are the symptoms of hyperemesis gravidarum? These can include:

  • Severe or prolonged vomiting.
  • Persistent severe vomiting leading to weight loss and dehydration, as a condition occurring during pregnancy.
  • Nausea when thinking about food.
  • This will occur in approximately 0.5 – 2 % of pregnancies.

If you’re one of those 0.5 – 2 % you can rest assured that you don’t have to suffer alone without respite. Knowing that you have to eat can bring on waves of nausea which can put you off even trying. Having an empty stomach can also make the symptoms worse, perhaps you have experienced:

  • Dizziness
  • Extreme fatigue
  • Weight loss
  • Dehydration
  • Headaches
  • Confusion
  • Fainting

Hyperemesis gravidarum has been highlighted in the news due to Kate Middleton experiencing it during her first pregnancy. The Duchess of Cambridge found hypnosis beneficial to reduce her anxiety around food which reduced the reaction she felt when it was necessary to eat.

I understand how stressful it can be to have to eat during a pregnancy, I experienced sickness daily during my own pregnancy and I know how hard it can be to force yourself to eat something you know you will see again. If only I had known Hypnotherapy could have helped!

How can hypnotherapy help?

Hypnotherapy can help by reducing your anxiety, especially around food and drink. As you think about eating you may find there is tension in your stomach or throat and this can be alleviated with hypnosis techniques which will allow you to eat in a relaxed, calm way without the added pressure of worrying about the food or the after effects.

Negative associations can be made while you are experiencing the sickness or nausea, hypnotherapy and NLP interventions can assist you to change these associations into more useful reactions. If you are watching a TV show when you feel the sickness coming you might then associate the show with the feeling so the next time you hear the theme tune you find your stomach begins to tense and feel that sense of impending doom. This association can be changed with the use of simple techniques that are easy to remember and enjoyable to practice.

Allow me to teach you techniques that will assist you in staying relaxed and calm even when experiencing sickness, reducing stress levels will also benefit your growing baby as prolonged stress can cause many different complications including developmental problems later in life.

If you feel this could be beneficial to you or someone you know please contact us today on 01438 358174 for more information or to book your appointment today.

Improve your self confidence in 15 minutes

I used to be incredibly anxious in social situations. Have you ever found yourself overcome with hot flushes, worried about speaking and looking foolish, concerned about doing or saying something to embarrass yourself? I had all these and more, and although people who know me now would never believe I used to doubt myself so much I had to learn confidence until it became a natural part of me. I can tell you relaxed optimistic confidence is just, well so much more fun.

Here I’ll tell you about the things that made the most difference to my confidence levels…

Some people seem to have been born with naturally high levels of confidence, if like me you weren’t one of these people you can learn to be more confident by practicing a few simple techniques. Everyone can benefit from these simple ways to improve your self confidence in 15 minutes.

Firstly, it’s important to get a clear idea of what self confidence really means, otherwise you won’t know when you’ve got it! So as a guide we believe self confidence to mean:

1) Being calm. For every situation in life you need to run on the appropriate level of emotion. Too much emotional ‘leakage’ into an experience can spoil the experience. You make great strides towards confidence when you begin to relax in a greater range of situations, even those you find most challenging.

2) Being cool. The second part of self confidence is about being able to relax with uncertainty. To be ‘cool’ in a situation really means relaxing with not knowing how things will pan out. If you truly tolerate uncertainty, you can do pretty much anything. There is no use worrying about what could happen or trying to predict an outcome, learning to be ‘cool’ gives you the freedom to live without these unnecessary worries.

3) Not being too concerned with what others think of you. Anthony Hopkins once said “My Philosophy is: It’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier”.  We couldn’t have put it better!

You know when you imagine what some place is going to be like before you go there but when you get there it is totally different to your imagination? That’s how reliable your imagination is! Stop trusting your imagination so much. I’ve long since stopped bothering to imagine what others think of me because so often I’ve turned out to be wrong. As long as you are happy with who you are the rest of the world will be too, and if they aren’t do they really matter?

4) Being specific – where do you want confidence? ‘Confidence’ is meaningless until you tie it to something specific. You are already confident that you can read these words or can switch a light on and off. So you don’t need more confidence everywhere. To get what you want in life you have to establish exactly what you do want in positive and specific language. Where do you want confidence in your life? Think about the specific situations now and write them down. You are now beginning to steer your brain towards confidence.

5) Understanding that what you expect is what you get. Your brain is an organ that needs clear goals to work towards. When a task has been set in your brain it will do everything it can do to bring about the completion of that task. If you’ve tried to recall someone’s name but can’t, hours later you’ll often find their name pops into your head.

The ‘trying to recall’ experience set the task or blueprint for your brain’s future subconscious behaviour which eventually produced the name for you – when you weren’t thinking about it consciously. You can use this natural mechanism to start feeling more confident. But, to ensure you set the right task for your subconscious mind, the next point is vital.

6) Don’t task your mind with negatives. Instead of: ‘I don’t want to screw up’ (which sets the task of ‘screwing up’ for your brain), set the blueprint for what you do want! Your brain doesn’t work towards what to do by being told what not to do. And nature has given you a wonderful natural tool to set the right task blueprints with. As we have said before, be careful with the language you use when creating tasks for your mind to achieve as a negative statement can make the difference between not failing and success!

7) Use nature’s goal-setter: Now you understand how vital it is to set the right task for your brain, you need to know how to do this reliably. Good clinical hypnosis will strongly ‘program’ the right blueprint in your mind through the use of your imagination. If you powerfully imagine feeling confident and relaxed while in a relaxed hypnotic state it will be hard for your unconscious mind to do anything else. The blueprint for relaxation has been set firmly into your subconscious mind.

3 simple strategies to get you feeling confident quickly:

1) Think specifically of the time/place/situation you want to feel confident in. Remember ‘confidence’ doesn’t mean anything until you attach it to something specific.

2) Focus on words in your mind right now that describe how you do want to be in that time and place. Maybe words such as ‘calm’, ‘happy’, ‘relaxed’ or ‘focused’. Remember your brain works on clear positive instructions.

3) Close your eyes for as long as you like and think about how those words feel and times you have experienced them with ease. Then, imagine the situation itself and rehearse it in your mind feeling confident and relaxed. This way you set the right blueprint or ‘task’ for your unconscious mind.

You can repeat this often to make it more effective and use it with as many areas of your life as you need to. If you listen to a hypnotic CD or download that can make the benefits even more powerful (see link below). So if you feel like you’d be blessed with less confidence than some other people you can start redressing the balance by using your mind in the right way right now.

It took me years to learn how to be more confident – now you can do it in a fraction of the time. Good luck!

Click HERE to boost your confidence now at HypnosisDownloads.com or alternatively contact us on 01438 358174  to discuss how we can help you achieve your goals and become a more confident person today!

 

Mindfulness exercise

Investing a few minutes of your day into your wellbeing can make all the difference to your mental health. Set aside a few minutes, maybe the time it takes to drink your morning tea or coffee, when you can be quiet and won’t be disturbed to practice this mindfulness exercise.

Begin by bringing your attention to your breath. Notice your breathing as you slowly breathe in and out, perhaps imagining  a balloon in your stomach, noticing the sensations in your stomach as the balloon inflates on the in breath and deflates on the out breath.

Notice any feelings you have and where they are felt.

Name the emotion:

  • What is it?
  • What word best describes what you are feeling?
  • Angry, sad, anxious, irritated, scared, frustrated?

Accept the emotion. It’s a normal body reaction. It can be helpful to understand how it came about – think of the circumstances that have contributed to you feeling this way. Try not to condone or judge the emotion, simply let it move through you without resisting it or encouraging it.

Investigate the emotion:

  • How intense is the feeling?
  • How are you breathing?
  • What are you feeling in your body? Where do you feel it?
  • Where do you notice muscle tension?
  • What is your posture like when you feel this emotion?
  • What is your facial expression? What does your face feel like?
  • Is anything changing? Such as the nature of the feeling, the position or intensity?

What thoughts or judgements do you notice? Focus on those thoughts, allow them to come into your mind and allow them to pass. If you find you are engaging with the thoughts by judging them or yourself for having them, believing them or struggling against them; notice what you are doing and bring your attention back to your breathing and to the physical sensations of the emotion.

If any other emotions come up or if anything changes simply notice and repeat the steps above. Notice the feelings change over time.

As you become more practiced you can use this mindfulness technique when you feel more intense emotions in times of stress. It might also be helpful to keep a note of your emotions and your investigations in a short diary, this can show you if there are any patterns to your emotions or reactions to situations.

If you are finding this technique difficult to master, try starting with our other blog  Simple Mindfulness exercise first and progress to this exercise when you are more comfortable with being mindful.

Building stress management tools like this mindfulness exercise into your daily routine can positively influence for your mental health and the way you react to the outside world. If you need more help with managing stress or anxiety call us today on 01438 358174.

Simple mindfulness exercise

How mindful are you on a daily basis? Do you find you have a string of thoughts that jump from one to the next without a break?  Always thinking about what’s next and not enjoying the moment can leave you feeling overwhelmed so investing a few minutes into practicing this simple mindfulness exercise can make a huge positive impact on your life.

meditating-buddhist-woman

 

 

 

Research shows that people who take a few minutes each day to actively savour something that they would usually rush experience, on average, a higher percentage of positive emotions and fewer depressive ones. A few examples are walking the dog, eating a meal or having a hot drink.

cupA very simple way to start being more mindful is to focus on your morning tea or coffee for the time it takes you to drink it. Forget all other distractions such as the TV, radio or your phone and really savour the moment by immersing yourself in the minute details of your beverage. Allow any thoughts or feelings to pass without judgement or engagement.

Begin to notice the

  • Smell
  • Colour
  • Feel
  • Taste
  • Texture

How does it feel

  • In your hands
  • On your lips
  • On your tongue

If any unwanted feelings or thoughts distract you acknowledge them, allow them to pass and go back to your practice. The more you do this, the easier it will become so try to start every day with this simple technique or build it into your daily routine and eat a mindful lunch.

Building stress management tools like mindfulness into your routine will do wonders for your mental healthy and the way you react to the outside world. If you need more help with managing stress or anxiety call us today on 01438 358174.