I used to be incredibly anxious in social situations. Have you ever found yourself overcome with hot flushes, worried about speaking and looking foolish, concerned about doing or saying something to embarrass yourself? I had all these and more, and although people who know me now would never believe I used to doubt myself so much I had to learn confidence until it became a natural part of me. I can tell you relaxed optimistic confidence is just, well so much more fun.
Here I’ll tell you about the things that made the most difference to my confidence levels…
Some people seem to have been born with naturally high levels of confidence, if like me you weren’t one of these people you can learn to be more confident by practicing a few simple techniques. Everyone can benefit from these simple ways to improve your self confidence in 15 minutes.
Firstly, it’s important to get a clear idea of what self confidence really means, otherwise you won’t know when you’ve got it! So as a guide we believe self confidence to mean:
1) Being calm. For every situation in life you need to run on the appropriate level of emotion. Too much emotional ‘leakage’ into an experience can spoil the experience. You make great strides towards confidence when you begin to relax in a greater range of situations, even those you find most challenging.
2) Being cool. The second part of self confidence is about being able to relax with uncertainty. To be ‘cool’ in a situation really means relaxing with not knowing how things will pan out. If you truly tolerate uncertainty, you can do pretty much anything. There is no use worrying about what could happen or trying to predict an outcome, learning to be ‘cool’ gives you the freedom to live without these unnecessary worries.
3) Not being too concerned with what others think of you. Anthony Hopkins once said “My Philosophy is: It’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier”. We couldn’t have put it better!
You know when you imagine what some place is going to be like before you go there but when you get there it is totally different to your imagination? That’s how reliable your imagination is! Stop trusting your imagination so much. I’ve long since stopped bothering to imagine what others think of me because so often I’ve turned out to be wrong. As long as you are happy with who you are the rest of the world will be too, and if they aren’t do they really matter?
4) Being specific – where do you want confidence? ‘Confidence’ is meaningless until you tie it to something specific. You are already confident that you can read these words or can switch a light on and off. So you don’t need more confidence everywhere. To get what you want in life you have to establish exactly what you do want in positive and specific language. Where do you want confidence in your life? Think about the specific situations now and write them down. You are now beginning to steer your brain towards confidence.
5) Understanding that what you expect is what you get. Your brain is an organ that needs clear goals to work towards. When a task has been set in your brain it will do everything it can do to bring about the completion of that task. If you’ve tried to recall someone’s name but can’t, hours later you’ll often find their name pops into your head.
The ‘trying to recall’ experience set the task or blueprint for your brain’s future subconscious behaviour which eventually produced the name for you – when you weren’t thinking about it consciously. You can use this natural mechanism to start feeling more confident. But, to ensure you set the right task for your subconscious mind, the next point is vital.
6) Don’t task your mind with negatives. Instead of: ‘I don’t want to screw up’ (which sets the task of ‘screwing up’ for your brain), set the blueprint for what you do want! Your brain doesn’t work towards what to do by being told what not to do. And nature has given you a wonderful natural tool to set the right task blueprints with. As we have said before, be careful with the language you use when creating tasks for your mind to achieve as a negative statement can make the difference between not failing and success!
7) Use nature’s goal-setter: Now you understand how vital it is to set the right task for your brain, you need to know how to do this reliably. Good clinical hypnosis will strongly ‘program’ the right blueprint in your mind through the use of your imagination. If you powerfully imagine feeling confident and relaxed while in a relaxed hypnotic state it will be hard for your unconscious mind to do anything else. The blueprint for relaxation has been set firmly into your subconscious mind.
3 simple strategies to get you feeling confident quickly:
1) Think specifically of the time/place/situation you want to feel confident in. Remember ‘confidence’ doesn’t mean anything until you attach it to something specific.
2) Focus on words in your mind right now that describe how you do want to be in that time and place. Maybe words such as ‘calm’, ‘happy’, ‘relaxed’ or ‘focused’. Remember your brain works on clear positive instructions.
3) Close your eyes for as long as you like and think about how those words feel and times you have experienced them with ease. Then, imagine the situation itself and rehearse it in your mind feeling confident and relaxed. This way you set the right blueprint or ‘task’ for your unconscious mind.
You can repeat this often to make it more effective and use it with as many areas of your life as you need to. If you listen to a hypnotic CD or download that can make the benefits even more powerful (see link below). So if you feel like you’d be blessed with less confidence than some other people you can start redressing the balance by using your mind in the right way right now.
It took me years to learn how to be more confident – now you can do it in a fraction of the time. Good luck!
Click HERE to boost your confidence now at HypnosisDownloads.com or alternatively contact us on 01438 358174 to discuss how we can help you achieve your goals and become a more confident person today!